CHARACTERS, 3f
CELESTE, 25, writer
PSYCHIATRIST, 38
HELENE, 28, painter
SETTING
Seatle, Washington. Present Day.
Scene one takes place in a closet.
Scene two takes place in CELESTE and HELENE’s kitchen.
Scene One. Lights rise on psychiatrist who sits in the
closet taking notes. After a beat, CELESTE enters.
There should be clothes everywhere and anything else
you might find in a closet.
CELESTE
Before you even ask, I took my happy pills today.
PSYCHIATRIST
I was going to ask how you were feeling.
CELESTE
I’m not supposed to be feeling anything. Isn’t that the point?
CELESTE sits down in the chair and takes out a
package of gummy bears.
PSYCHIATRIST
They say smokers need to do something with their hands.
CELESTE
Ex-smokers.
PSYCHIATRIST
What did you do today?
CELESTE
The usual. Sat on my balcony. Dreaded coming here. Then got in the car anyways.
Beat.
PSYCHIATRIST
Do I smell alcohol?
CELESTE
Ten points for Hufflepuff.
PSYCHIATRIST
Harry Potter’s not real.
CELESTE
Yes. I know that.
PSYCHIATRIST
Are you sure?
CELESTE
I’m not schizophrenic.
PSYCHIATRIST
How’s the medication treating you?
CELESTE
The way it’s supposed to.
PSYCHIATRIST
Do you need a higher dosage?
CELESTE
No.
PSYCHIATRIST
Do you want a lower one?
CELESTE
I want to feel something. Anything. I want to want something again.
Beat.
PSYCHIATRIST
We’ve known each other a long time.
CELESTE
Ten years.
PSYCHIATRIST
Do you remember why?
CELESTE
My mother thought I was trying to kill myself.
PSYCHIATRIST
Celeste.
CELESTE
I don’t want to talk about it.
PSYCHIATRIST
We have to.
CELESTE
I had cut myself. A lot.
PSYCHIATRIST
Because?
CELESTE
Don’t.
PSYCHIATRIST
Because you thought you Hogwarts letter had come and you couldn’t find it.
CELESTE
I saw that owl.
PSYCHIATRIST starts scribbling some things down.
PSYCHIATRIST
And lately, have you seen any owls?
CELESTE
No. I obviously haven’t.
PSYCHIATRIST
Obviously? Why obviously?
CELESTE
I saw a little boy almost get hit by a car. The car slammed on its breaks and then swerved into a light pole. I stayed and called the police but—
PYCHIATRIST
That didn’t happen, Celeste.
CELESTE
Yes it did!
PSYCHIATRIST
When you called the police, there was no boy. No car. Just you. Crying on the sidewalk.
CELESTE
That’s not true.
PSYCHIATRIST
Celeste. You’re stronger than this. You have to—you say you want to feel something.
CELESTE
I do. And with these pills, I just feel—
PSYCHIATRIST
Celeste. I know you stopped taking your pills months ago.
CELESTE
That’s not true.
PYCHIATRIST
Celeste. I know you.
CELESTE
No one knows me.
PSYCHIATRIST
Get back on your pills, Celeste.
Beat.
CELESTE
No.
PSYCHIATRIST
Celeste.
CELESTE
(yelling)
I’m fine!
Blackout.
scene ii. HELENE is sitting at the kitchen, table,
crying. CELESTE enters and pours herself a cup of
coffee. Seeing CELESTE, HELENE wipes her tears
and gets up to start making breakfast.
HELENE
How was your morning?
CELESTE
Fine.
HELENE
Good.
CELESTE
What are you making?
HELENE
Pancakes.
CELESTE
Wheat, right?
HELENE
Yes dear.
Beat.
CELESTE
Are you going into the studio today?
HELENE
No.
CELESTE
Oh. But there are bags by the door.
HELENE
I know.
CELESTE
Are you going to visit your mother?
HELENE
No.
CELESTE
Are you making blueberry wheat pancakes? Like you did yesterday?
HELENE
We’re out of blueberries.
CELESTE
Oh.
Beat. HELENE has to fight back more tears.
HELENE
I have to tell you something.
CELESTE
Can we just pretend like you already did?
HELENE
No.
CELESTE
What painting are you working on?
HELENE
Celeste. Please don’t.
CELESTE
Don’t what?
HELENE
I’m leaving.
Beat.
CELESTE
Do you have to?
HELENE
Yes. I have to.
CELESTE
But I love you.
HELENE
I know. I love you too.
HELENE stops cooking and wipes away her tears.
HELENE (cont)
You were in the closet. Again. This morning.
CELESTE
No. I went to the psychiatrist’s office this morning. Like you asked me to.
HELENE
No. Honey, you just went in the closet. You didn’t even—
HELENE turns back to the stove. She is trying to gather
herself.
HELENE (cont)
You didn’t even change out of your pajamas. Don’t you think it’s weird that you went to see a psychiatrist in your pjs?
CELESTE
No. We’re close.
HELENE
I can’t do this anymore, Celeste. I—just can’t. I don’t know why you stopped or what made you want—I’m leaving. And I called your mother. She should be here soon.
CELESTE
Why did you call her?
HELENE
What else was I supposed to do?
Beat.
CELESTE
You don’t know what it’s like for me.
HELENE
I was just about to say the same thing.
CELESTE
The world I live…the things I get to see. The things I get to be a part of. Why do you want to take that from me?
HELENE
Because it’s not real.
CELESTE
And why do you get to define what’s real and what isn’t?
HELENE
Real. As in it happened. The things you’ve supposedly seen have not happened.
CELESTE
That doesn’t make them not real.
Beat.
HELENE
You need to go back on your medication.
CELESTE
I can’t.
HELENE
Then I can’t stay.
CELESTE
I forget how to breathe on those things.
HELENE
Then maybe we could try a different kind.
CELESTE
No. I can’t go back to that world.
HELENE
What? The real one?
CELESTE
My world’s just as real as yours.
Beat.
HELENE
Please. We could find a therapist in town. Maybe someone with natural remedies so you don’t have to go back to the happy pills. We could—
CELESTE
Do you know why I used to call them happy pills?
HELENE
I—I thought it was because they made you happy.
CELESTE
No. They made everyone else happy. They made me feel—scattered. Like someone was trying to rearrange all these little broken pieces that used to be me. But that person wasn’t putting them back in the right place. So instead of healing and being happy, I was just a bunch of shards that don’t fit together.
HELENE
You should write that down.
CELESTE
Where? In my crazy journal?
Beat.
HELENE
What if we could find pills that made you happy?
CELESTE
Helene, some people are just meant to stay broken. I am meant to stay broken. I’m happier this way. I’m a writer. Hand me those pills and all of my emotions, all of my everything just goes—
HELENE
Do not give me that artistic crap. I’m an artist just like you. And I don’t need to see people who aren’t there to create a beautiful painting.
CELESTE
Well I’m happy sanity works so well for you.
HELENE
It works so well for everyone! One of these days, you’re going to walk into a fucking busy street thinking it’s the ocean and you know what’s going to happen. A very real, very fast car is going to hit you. And kill you. And then what? What will I have then?
CELESTE
Well apparently, you’ll have everything. You’re leaving.
HELENE
I don’t want to go.
CELESTE
Then don’t go.
HELENE
I can’t live this way.
CELESTE
I won’t beg you to stay.
The pancakes are finished. HELENE puts two in front
of CELESTE and takes two for herself.
HELENE
There’s help out there.
CELESTE
I told you. I’m already talking to a psychiatrist and I like the one I have.
HELENE
The one you have isn’t real.
CELESTE
I don’t care.
Silence as they eat their pancakes. After a beat or
two, HELENE sets down her fork.
HELENE
When I met you, you were—brilliant. One of the best writers I had ever—met. And you were stunning. And quick on your feet. And everything I thought I wanted to be. But what is the point of being that person only one fourth of the time?
CELESTE
I know my demons. I know them by name. . I’m me all the time. It’s just that the version of me that you fell in love with is only around one fourth of the time.
Beat. HELENE kisses CELESTE on the forehead.
HELENE
Goodbye, Celeste.
HELENE leaves. END OF PLAY.