On the Behalf of Christians Everywhere

On the behalf of all Christians everywhere,

I’d like to apologize.

 

Believe me, I know its long overdue

and I’m not exactly the poster board Christian.

 

First of all I’m Catholic

and I haven’t even taken communion in years

so I don’t know that I’m qualified

but still I can realize that it’s time for us to apologize.

 

It’s unbearably clear that we forgot what we stood for

what we’re supposed to be about

what we’re supposed to believe in

who we’re supposed to believe in.

 

Last time I checked Christianity was about Christ.

And seeing as how he prospered in poverty

loved without judgment

and gave whatever he had

it’s clear to me that somewhere along the way

that all got lost in translation.

 

I apologize even for those of us who aren’t fundamentalists

which is really just a term that we all like to hide behind

someone to point out and say “Well at least we’re not them.”

Truth is, we can’t even see the hypocrisy leaking out of our words

because we’re not doing anything to stop them

to stand up against them and push them away from what we believe in.

 

Instead we’re allowing them to taint us, to break us,

to show the world a side of us that shouldn’t exist

because that side works against us,

against what we are supposed to stand for

and every time one of us stays silent,

another person is attacked

another person vanishes

another person dies.

 

So I stand here and apologize

for my silence, the times I hid

the times I kept quiet

the times I ran away

and let them say the things

I know Christ was adamantly against.

 

I want to apologize for the times I myself said hateful things

the times I used misinformation to inflict those who needed help

to cut down those who already had nothing to stand on.

 

But most of all,

I want to apologize for thinking leaving the church

made all of that go away

as though denying my sometimes-faith made me better than “those people”

and now suddenly I am reformed.

 

I am not. In my silence, I am just as guilty.

When I should’ve been strong enough to stay,

to fight against their acid burning through my religion

to call out those who violated the code of Christ,

I simply backed out.

 

And for that I am eternally sorry

so with these words, I hope to begin to make amends

to start over and re-trace my footprints back to some truth.

 

While I can’t go back, so neatly, to my faith,

I return to you, those who are still calling out for an army

those of you who still have no bed

no shelter

no family

those of you who have been cast out

because of who you’ve chosen to love

 

I am here, to lay my armor down by your feet

to stand guard when you need rest

to stand beside you when you prepare

for the daily battle of existence

 

And I am sorry it took me this long.

 

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