On the behalf of all Christians everywhere,
I’d like to apologize.
Believe me, I know its long overdue
and I’m not exactly the poster board Christian.
First of all I’m Catholic
and I haven’t even taken communion in years
so I don’t know that I’m qualified
but still I can realize that it’s time for us to apologize.
It’s unbearably clear that we forgot what we stood for
what we’re supposed to be about
what we’re supposed to believe in
who we’re supposed to believe in.
Last time I checked Christianity was about Christ.
And seeing as how he prospered in poverty
loved without judgment
and gave whatever he had
it’s clear to me that somewhere along the way
that all got lost in translation.
I apologize even for those of us who aren’t fundamentalists
which is really just a term that we all like to hide behind
someone to point out and say “Well at least we’re not them.”
Truth is, we can’t even see the hypocrisy leaking out of our words
because we’re not doing anything to stop them
to stand up against them and push them away from what we believe in.
Instead we’re allowing them to taint us, to break us,
to show the world a side of us that shouldn’t exist
because that side works against us,
against what we are supposed to stand for
and every time one of us stays silent,
another person is attacked
another person vanishes
another person dies.
So I stand here and apologize
for my silence, the times I hid
the times I kept quiet
the times I ran away
and let them say the things
I know Christ was adamantly against.
I want to apologize for the times I myself said hateful things
the times I used misinformation to inflict those who needed help
to cut down those who already had nothing to stand on.
But most of all,
I want to apologize for thinking leaving the church
made all of that go away
as though denying my sometimes-faith made me better than “those people”
and now suddenly I am reformed.
I am not. In my silence, I am just as guilty.
When I should’ve been strong enough to stay,
to fight against their acid burning through my religion
to call out those who violated the code of Christ,
I simply backed out.
And for that I am eternally sorry
so with these words, I hope to begin to make amends
to start over and re-trace my footprints back to some truth.
While I can’t go back, so neatly, to my faith,
I return to you, those who are still calling out for an army
those of you who still have no bed
those of you who have been cast out
because of who you’ve chosen to love
I am here, to lay my armor down by your feet
to stand guard when you need rest
to stand beside you when you prepare
for the daily battle of existence
And I am sorry it took me this long.